Keir Dillon has been a staple of the Burton Global Team for nearly a decade, and for good reason. Keir was going huge before going huge was, um…big. Since his over-the-top topless McTwist at the 2001 Sims World Snowboarding Championships, it was unanimously evident that Dillon was legit. With a tenth of a century’s worth of video parts, podium appearances, and stellar stills, Keir fits this month’s column perfectly. He’s a pro snowboarder who has mastered everything vert, paid his dues above halfpipe decks worldwide, sessioned with some of the most world-renowned shredders in the biz, and on top of that, he still goes double-overhead in the tube.
- Tom Monterosso
Pro (Proh) noun:
Anyone, instructor or athlete, who is paid money to snowboard. Since the inception of the paid amateur, the line is rather blurred, but any shredder who obtains a pro model board, boots, bindings, outerwear, etc., has separated themselves from the rest of the field and can undoubtedly be dubbed a “pro.”
Pro Ho (Proh Hoh) noun:
This undemanding species regularly attempts to score with pros, offering up their loins in return for bragging rights. Often found at different contests around the globe, this group is known for their “loose” approach to life. “Hey, did you see that pro ho who was all over Richie’s boner? Wait, where’d Richie go?”
Lurker (Ler-kerr) noun:
Anyone who hides in the shadows, unwanted and unloved, desiring to be part of a group, scene, event, or social gathering, yet brings nothing to the table. Lurkers come in many shapes and sizes, from the uninvited photographer or filmer wanting to include themselves in a closed shoot, or an ungroomed creep who wants to include themselves in a pro ho liaison.
Grab (Grrrrr-ab) noun:
A main ingredient for a properly-done trick, yet sometimes performed out of necessity when one fears mid-air board detachment. Rarely found in televised halfpipe contests, yet almost always found at the après party underneath bar room tables. “Dude, that pro ho is fully grabbing Sean’s johnson!”
Double Grab (Dub-ble Grrrrrab) noun:
When an ordinary one-handed grab just isn’t enough. Variations of double grabs include truck drivers, bus drivers, drunk drivers, meatwagons, and crossrockets.
Lien (Leen) noun:
Named after skateboard legend Neil Blender (lien is Neil backwards, dunce), a lien is a backside grab performed on the frontside wall. Commonly grabbed behind a rider’s front foot, a lien gains one extra point for each degree it is tweaked, and is transformed into a truck driver if the rider’s back hand joins the party on the toe edge.
Zaugg Pipe Monster (Zogg Pyp Mahn-ster) noun:
The current standard for halfpipe grooming machines. Largely responsible for the progression of pipe riding, the Zaugg Pipe Monster is capable of building halfpipes with walls ranging from eighteen to twenty-two feet in height. Not to be confused with monster pipes like Sean’s johnson.
Winch Cat (Winn-sh Kat) noun:
A type of snow cat which uses a winched cable anchored to an uphill support for increased leverage when climbing steep slopes. Winch cats have done more harm to the bump-skiing subculture than bad coke, UV rays, and rear-entry ski boots put together.
Overhead (Oh-ver-Hed) adjective:
Originally used in surfing to describe wave size, this phrase has entered the snowboard world in order to explain how high a snowboarder is going above the deck. If further explanation is needed, see “Moron.”
Deck (Dehk) noun:
The flat area extending out from the lip of a halfpipe or quarterpipe. “Decking out” or “decking” is when a rider miscalculates their loft from the lip and ends up coming down outside the feature. The deck is also the area of a halfpipe that snowboarders use to hike back up to the top. For the record, Keir did not deck out in this shot.
Vert (Virt) noun:
Short for “vertical,” it describes the part of a wall that offers up no more transition. It is perpendicular to the flat of the slope below. Example: A twenty-two foot wall can have anywhere from three to six feet of vert before the lip.
Session (Sesh-in) noun:
When one or more riders are focused on hitting a single feature, wall, jump, joint, rail, or pro ho.
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