DRIVEN TO RIDE - VEGAS

Vegas. Don't even bring it up. That soul-destroying wench took me for all I was worth-financially, physically, and mentally. Put a lawless town on an already disruptive attitude, add some reckless behavior and a top it off with a little encouragement and you get a recipe for pain.

There was a trade show or something rather going on, however, we had no business there other than to have our yellow RV seen by the masses. It is the perfect moving advertisement, not to mention the most revolting banana piss-colored pile of hell you will ever see. So we parked it outside of the Hard Rock; job done. Having fulfilled my contractual obligations, I was ready to begin my annual week of regret. What is it about Las Vegas that allows a normally mellow, level headed lad like myself to lose focus? I think I know why.

As I continue to pull beer from my pocket, order vodka sodas from the bar, and smoke like a supermodel, something in the back of my head is telling me to slow down. I normally know when to say when (no I don't) and always maintain my composure(by always, I mean never), yet, the bartender at the Nefretitti Lounge at the Luxor, who happens to go by the name of Waylon, seems to enjoy my otherwise obnoxious behavior. And when I say obnoxious I mean retarded, and when I say retarded I mean revolting. Here is how it went down: "I have been servin' folks for 18 years and never cut anybody off!" Waylon says. Realistically, I am teetering on the edge of a blackout and am in dire need of some direction. My best friends are starting to show those concerning looks, thinking maybe homeboy has had enough. Regardless, Waylon continues, "And I am not about to start now!" and that's where my whole Vegas experience took a turn for the worse.

The thing is, I tend to blow it when blow it . Ask any one. I am such an idiot! I think, although I am not sure, I pissed off most of my friends with my rude-boy style. On the other hand, it was that same attitude that earned me some new ones. Whatever though, I am pumped that I made it out of that town with nothing more than an irregular heartbeat.

"Purify our misfit ways ... "

"... And magnify our CRYSTAL days." - Echo and the Bunnymen