Fresh and Tracked with Andrew Hardingham

Andrew Hardingham always looks like he is going to die at any moment. This isn’t to say that he is unskilled; rather, when this newly anointed We Activist buckles in, he purposefully sets out to try the sketchiest sh*t imaginable. Examples of this include straight-lining hundred-yard dirt patches, dropping pillow lines which run out onto the Trans-Canada Highway, and doing the most hell-bent gaps ever, including Superpark 10’s punt off the trail and thru the trees and this year’s vault from the bottom tabletop takeoff onto the elevated quarterpipe flat bar. Scary stuff for highly-paid professionals, but Andrew is neither highly-paid nor very professional. Andrew spent this past winter waiting tables at night just so he could pay his own way down to Superpark. I could make a joke about people getting “served” here, but it would belittle my sentiments about how much Andrew Hardingham kills it, and how overlooked he is by our industry. Of course, I do admit that he’s a scumbag, but that will become all too clear soon enough.
-Pat Bridges

WHAT’S HOT & WHAT’S NOT IN SNOWBOARDING

FRESH

Enjoying the strange: Cutting the heads off soft toys and replacing them with hard toy heads. It’s so weird.

Being creepy: Smelling girls’ hair at the bar when they aren’t watching, and then making sure you get busted so that they can find out how wonderful you are in the weirdest way.

Living in the now: Peeing while you rip a corduroy run, because it shows you that you are in control of your body. You’re the boss of you.

Admiration: When retarded kids get super-stoked on things. That’s fresh! It’s cool to think that [while] we take so many things for granted, there are [still] people who realize how cool some things are. Sh*t yeah, retards.

Being creative: Making short films and writing stories that offend people. Nothing says “job well done” like a hundred hate mails. That’s how Eminem made a billion bucks, right?

Being open-minded: Having wicked mushroom parties with your pals at the hill. And then when a white squall moves in, building an igloo and staying overnight like the Inuit. Word.

Being magical: Hanging out by yourself with a ghetto blaster and some sweet Tarot cards while trying to figure out the future by magic. Especially with some huge cranking tunes to your left.

Helping with people’s confidence: Telling ladies that their panties are the coolest and sexiest things you’ve ever seen, even though they’re really just OK.

Being innovative: Drawing death pictures in school so your teachers think you’re suicidal and let you skip school to do what makes you happy—like snowboarding.

TRACKED

Yelling: Drawing attention to yourself by freaking out when your friend does a lame trick during a session. We all saw it; it was okay, but no way was it yellable. Unless the friend that yells is retarded (like, for real). Then he can yell his head off, ’cause that’s fresh.

Not being drunk: Like the industry getting mad at people for drinking too much and just plain being awesome. It’s time to put the suit and tie away and cut loose, ya douchebags. Have some fun with the stars of the show for a while. Consider yourself lucky.

Pretending you’re balling: Keeping your best-ever bank statement in your wallet so that when nosy chicks go through it, they will think you’re rich. We all know your daddy gave you thirty grand to buy a shiny lifted truck, and you deposited the check the day before the purchase. Douchebag.

Being cutting-edge: When you comment on how rad someone’s cell phone is like it’s a symbol of one’s persona. You can’t buy personality, ya douchebags. I also love when people put down someone because their cell phone is old or big. You are the exact person Verizon Mobile wants on this planet: a sheep techno-crony that will spend on anything.

Talking to girls: Most snowboarders that have been as high as twenty feet probably have stories of pooping in their new DC pants. Don’t talk to girls about it.

Being flawless: Worrying about your new LE shoes too much and forgetting that life is about busting up new shoes and the stories that come from it.

Being gay: Taking your shirt off at the bar—it’s so penal-bum. Even if your shirt gets ripped or cut off with a dagger, keep the scraps on. The bar is not the beach.

Check back every Wednesday for another installment of Fresh and Tracked.